


Guarded

by syriala



Series: Inktober for Writers 2018 [13]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-14
Updated: 2018-10-14
Packaged: 2019-08-02 00:40:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 888
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16294997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/syriala/pseuds/syriala
Summary: Peter was overjoyed to have Derek back in his bed and in his life. He hadn’t thought it would ever happen, not after everything they went through, but somehow Derek had found his way back to him. And Peter would call this the happiest time of his life, if it wasn’t for the way Derek was always tense around him, always guarded. He didn’t even really sleep when he stayed over, and Peter didn’t know what was wrong.





	Guarded

Peter was overjoyed to have Derek back in his bed and in his life. He hadn’t thought it would ever happen, not after everything they went through, but somehow Derek had found his way back to him.

And Peter would call this the happiest time of his life, if it wasn’t for the way Derek was always tense around him, always guarded. He didn’t even really sleep when he stayed over, and Peter didn’t know what was wrong.

Normally he would say he trusted Derek to tell him if this wasn’t what he wanted, but after all the fucked-up relationships Derek went through, Peter figured that maybe Derek would put his own comfort second to that of his partner’s and Peter wasn’t going to allow this.

If Derek wanted out of this, was only in it because of some misguided sense of duty, Peter would let him go, even though it was the last thing he wanted to do. He had lived too long without Derek to ever be ready to let him go, but he also never wanted to hurt Derek.

Peter could understand if their history was too much for Derek to take, even if he wouldn’t like it and would forever mourn the fact that he had lost Derek, but he needed to know.

“You never sleep when you’re here,” Peter said when they retired for the night, and while it maybe wasn’t the best timing on Peter’s part, he couldn’t stand this uncertainty any longer.

If Derek didn’t want to be with him, he certainly wouldn’t force him to spend even one more night with him.

“Of course I do,” Derek mumbled, but there was a tenseness to his body that belied his words.

“You nap, if even that,” Peter said. “You wake every time I move, and at the smallest noises. You’re always on edge when you are with me,” Peter went on and Derek sat up in bed, staring at Peter.

“What are you saying?” he asked.

“If you don’t want to be here, you don’t have to be,” Peter said after taking a deep breath, rushing the words out.

It hurt more than he had expected, but he needed to get this out there.

“What makes you think I don’t want to be here?” Derek asked, and Peter huffed, slowly getting angry with Derek.

“Maybe the way you never fall asleep before me. Maybe the way you always jump when I come up behind you. Maybe because you seem like you expect an attack at all times, and since it’s only me in this apartment with you, I don’t see how it isn’t directly related to me,” Peter snapped and got out of bed.

He was too angry to stay under the covers, cozy and warm, when Derek was still looking at him with his shoulders up to his ears, as if he expected to be hit at any moment.

“Look at you,” Peter said and pointed at Derek. “You look like you expect me to lash out at you and I don’t understand what you’re still doing here if that is the case.”

Derek forced himself to drop his shoulders, but he didn’t meet Peter’s eyes.

“You’re right,” Derek mumbled, and Peter’s stomach dropped out.

He had expected this, prepared himself for this, but hearing it now was a completely different matter.

“You should leave then,” Peter forced out, but Derek didn’t move an inch.

“I don’t _want_ to leave,” Derek said, and Peter frowned.

“For once in your life, you’re going to have to use your words,” he said and finally Derek looked up at him.

“I love you,” he said, disarmingly honest, but it only confused Peter further.

“I love you, too,” he still said, because it was important that Derek knew that. “But I still don’t understand,” he admitted.

“A part of me is still waiting to be punished. A small part of me is still waiting for you to get revenge,” Derek admitted.

“For what?” Peter asked.

“For getting our family killed. For killing you,” Derek said with a shrug and Peter sighed.

“Kate wasn’t your fault, and I have long forgiven you for killing me. I was insane, Derek. There was no saving me, and I know that.”

“I don’t—A part of me doesn’t always believe that,” Derek told him, and Peter walked around the bed, carding his fingers through Derek’s hair and pulling him closer to press a kiss to Derek’s forehead.

“Then I’ll say it as often as you need to hear,” he promised. “It wasn’t your fault and I don’t blame you.”

Derek shuddered under his touch at those words and the next breath he took sounded suspiciously like a sob.

“I might need to hear it often,” Derek eventually said, nuzzling into Peter’s hand that had dropped to his cheek.

“As often and as long as you need,” Peter promised and tilted Derek’s head up for a kiss.

Derek was softer against him than he had been in a very long time and Peter’s heart ached when he thought about how afraid and worried Derek must have been all this time.

He would make sure it would stick with Derek eventually that there was nothing he had to fear from Peter.

Especially not since Derek was everything Peter held dear.


End file.
